Child birth labor means the end of the road and the start of a new beginning. It means pregnancy is over and it means the beginning of life as a mom. If you had a tough pregnancy, you are relieved to get it over with and if you had a wonderful pregnancy, it’s a bittersweet moment. The best part is that you are about to meet that baby that your body has created. But how do you get the baby out? The reality then sets in and so does the fear of labor.

When I was pregnant a lot of women that have never been pregnant kept asking me if I was scared of labor. They said they’ve heard horror stories and that the pain is unbearable. “I wonder if it’s like the movies and tv shows,” they said. My childless friends were nervous for me and the few mom-friends I have all had different labor stories. Even my mom was anxious and nervous.

But the truth is I tuned them out. I didn’t ask the moms nor did I watch videos. I honestly didn’t want to know and I didn’t want people to scare me or get in my head. I didn’t want to spend my pregnancy anticipating or creating scenarios in my head. I went to a Lamaze class and read this amazing book about child birth and it made me see child birth in a new light.

The reality is it will hurt, it will be difficult and it will take hours. It’s labor-meaning it won’t be easy. Yes, some women have it easier than others but it’s not a walk in the park. And you can have a plan and prepare but when it actually happens, that plan can go out the window in seconds. What happened to one mom will not happen to you. What worked for one mom probably won’t work for you. What your own mom went through will be different than what you will live through. Do your research and don’t set your standards so high.

If you want to have water birth or home birth, make sure you get informed. If you want the assistance of a doula, interview a few prospects. If you don’t want to take any medications, consult your doctor. If you do want to take medications such as an epidural, read the pros and cons. Whatever you want to do, make sure you have a backup plan and most importantly have an open mind. Remember that things can change in an instant and weigh out your options.

Don’t let other’s opinions influence your decision and don’t let anyone talk you into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with. It’s your body, your baby and your labor.

And let’s keep it real. Of course it’s going to hurt. But you’re not the first nor the last women to give birth. Our bodies were made to give birth and trust that your body will know what it’s doing. My cousin had her children via cesarean and was scheduled to be induced so that she wouldn’t have to feel any pain nor experience contractions. She was terrified and wanted to avoid pain at all costs. The doctors advised her against it but they couldn’t change her mind. That was her decision and that was her journey.

Is child labor scary? Yes, because we fear the unknown. But don’t doubt yourself. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. That day you will amaze yourself and your body will surprise you. Keep your spirits high because you are about to meet your baby. Child birth will be all worth it and once you hold that baby in you arms, you will instantly fall in love and will realize that the pain was all worth it.

Don’t fear labor. Use that energy to give you strength and determination. Trust your doctors and most importantly, know that you are about to give life and the only thing on your mind should be welcoming your baby to this crazy world.